Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Wishing you all the Best of the Compliments and Wishes on your FIFTH Birthday

Ryanu Hi!!

Yesterday was your FIFTH Birthday. A day I so badly wanted to be with you. Wish you a very Happy Birthday and may you have many more.

Now that your Mother's Father is on a run trying to slip away from all the people he duped by not paying them the money he borrowed, changing three houses in two months, I am not even able to locate you. I only hope that you are fine and wish so much to get you out of all the messups. I always have been trying to explain to your mother where she and her folks were headed to and wanted to get both her and you away from it, is the main cause of our break. I knew this was expected sometime. I leave it to God to protect you and safe gaurd your well being and I am sure he would!

Me, your GrandFather, GrandMother and your Uncle miss you every single day. Yesterday we began our day going to the church making offerings on your behalf and then in the afternoon we gifted lunch on your behalf to an orphanage and an old age home.

Ryan, you are five now a big boy, be a good boy and be good to others around you. Study well!

I will always keep trying to find you and reach you. Should you ever come across this and want me all you need is to reach out, my number is 09886934853 and mail is xbinoe@gmail.com.

I am sorry I was not able to send you even a gift this time, I do not even know where you are.

You are in my prayers and thoughts every moment. Remember dear, I'll always be here to give you a hug or lend you a ear. The thoughts of you is what shines in me even during the darkest of times. My feelings for you come from deep in my heart, and I miss you soo much. You are really very special and I want you to know and that each moment my feelings continue to grow. And I pass each day with the prayer and hope of being with you someday. I love You a lot!

I still remember the day I was leaving of how you were crying to come along with me and expecting to be back in three days I handed you to your Mumma, not knowing that everything was already well schemed and planned. And every moment I curse myself for not having taken you with me.

Ryan once again a very Happy Birthday to you.

With Lots of Luv...Your's Abba.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Betrayal!!

Christmas Season, Advent of a New Year!!! Tears filled my eyes, as I felt the excruciating pain again. What was my fault? In which area was I lacking? Unconditional love, I gave…. didn’t i? I forgave being stood up……..didn’t I? I sacrificed my relationships with friends, by putting them on hold all the time, thus hardly having any now. My life revolved around her, I made her the centre of my life. Everything else came after her; God, my parents, my relatives, my friends and my co-workers, even myself. My God, the tears slip down my cheeks as I remembered cancelling plans with my friends, whenever she pops up and need me. I remembered her whispering how much she loves me, making me forget all else ,but her. So why this betrayal now? My heart cried. I gave my all to her, why did she cheat me? Is it because I refused to pay any more money to her folks? Is money so important in a relationship? Is it more important than love, sacrifice, trust and friendship in a relationship? Is that temporary financial requirement more important than the emotional bonding of love? Isn’t love suppose to be the balm for all wounds? Why am I hurting so much? Why did I gave up everything for her? Isn’t she suppose to love me” until death do us apart” ? Why did I forget my religious’s teachings…….” make God the centre of your life as he knows you and loves you the best.” Please some one, tell me where I went wrong?

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Your 4th Birthday
















Ryan,

I wished so much to hold you, wish you, be with you the whole day and make it a very special day before you begin your schools. Your Grandparents too wanted to do the same.


But we were not able to because your Mother and her family has been cooking up a lot of stories against us so we had been adviced by everyone including the Lawyers to not try even contacting you by phone or in person because your Maternal Grandfather would do everything to penalise us. I do hope you understand our situation.

We had however sent you a few gifts for your birthday and hope that you have got it and that you like them.

Ryan, we all here miss you soo badly and are trying our best to get you back to your family. Anytime you wish you could walk to anyone of us. And all of us are waiting for you.

Luv you lots
Miss you soo badly
With lots of kisses and wishes...Yours...Abba

Tuesday, May 15, 2007


Climate is BAD,

The Place is bad,

The People are bad,

and my mood is bad.

It seems everything is falling apart.

I'm broken now

I feel so beaten down

Depressed I think sooo..

Lonely I think sooo..

Sad I think sooo..

Putting myself through depression agony, hate.

My life sucks, and its not great.

Acquainted with hearts that are cold and unkind.

Surrounded and viciously attacked with hate.

Attempting to intercept, and demolish my fate.

No understanding.

I'm just completely alone.

Haunted by negative voices, quietly screaming my name.

Praying for my down fall.

Driving me insane.

My spirit deteriorating.

Slowly falling apart.

Brutally stabbing my soul.

Constantly wounding my heart.

mixed up --displaced, misplaced

I just want to run away

Feel like throwing everything!!


....But the hope of being with my Son one day keeps me living each day!!

TO MY Dearest Son Ryan- I miss you so very much!!


I wish..
Just for this morning, I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.
Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is.
Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry and pick you up and take you to the park to play.
Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.
Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you and blow bubbles.
Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream man, and I will buy you one if he comes by.
Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.
Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me clean our car, and I won't stand over you trying to fix them.
Just for this afternoon, I will take us to you favourite food court and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.
Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.
Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.
Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.
Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favourite TV shows.
Just for this evening when I run my finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.
I will think about the fathers who have lost their children.
The fathers who are watching their children suffer senselessly and screaming inside that little body.
And when I kiss you goodnight I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer.
It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask him for nothing, except one more day......... ....
How I wish soo much....and still can do nothing about it
---Your Abba

15th May'2007

I am a Christian (Catholic), Indian father and 34 years old Married for the past 5years with a 4 year old Son. I am into a big time problem with my marriage.
Upto 1st Sept’2006
Pre- Marriage: I have been brought up with close family ties, from 1994 I’ve been working and from 1997 onwards I have been traveling over 18 countries, been a CEO at the age of 29 to a group on foreign lands. During the beginning of 2001 my family began pressurizing me to marry to which I agreed to under the condition that there is no Dowry. My parents were basically looking for someone more than a Daughter-in-law, someone who could take the place of a Daughter and a sister to my younger brother. Upon my consent my parents began the Bride hunt. Accidentally they came across my wife's family though a relative at Chennai, saw my wife and decided that she would suit the family the Best, infact my father and mother saw in her to be the daughter of the family – their dream daughter they always wanted. The only major draw back was the Age factor, she was about 8years younger to me, she was 21 and doing her final year. I was convinced by other friends and relatives that this age factor was not a big factor since girls mature faster. My father had informed this relative that we are not looking for anything other than a good girl, nothing financial, and infact the marriage expenses too would be borne not by my parents but by me. Then her family got attracted to this and began following up with my family. Initially they wanted my family to decrease my age (This gives a feeling that a lot of information must have been bluffed to her by her parents.), which my family refused and in fact went a step ahead of sending a letter describing our family situation of not having any big time savings or ancestral properties but the Father and 2 sons having a decent job but then during the course of time there could be a possibility of either one loosing the job and the other two supporting. The marriage terms and conditions were purely discussed between mine and her parents & our relatives – it was pointed out then by my parents that her parents said that they intend to give a certain amount of Gold, to which my father said that gold would be of no major use, then they came up with the idea of renting Gold, which my parents refused. Then there was another condition that I need to take her with me immediately after the marriage. This was in early Nov'01. Around 1st week of Jan'02 she wrote her 1st mail to me and then had been in correspondence until marriage. During this period my wife blurted of her love to me, I advised then that it might be just infatuation since both of us have not even met each other.. I was at that time shuttling between the East African Countries. Mid April her parents come to B’lore to my place and fix up the marriage ie. without even seeing me or me seeing them or their daughter (my then would be wife)Post Marriage: Got married on Mid-June'02.1. The entire engagement's expenses were borne by my wife's father and the marriage and reception expenses were borne by me.2. Immediately after the marriage I created a joint account with my wife, opened a locker in a bank at Bangalore and kept her jewelry in it along with the Gold gifts I got (these gold gifts that I got weighed more than what she wore for the marriage).3. Right from the 2nd day her Mother began cursing my Mother and other relatives – which I did not believe, but then at that time did not want to create a scene so acted Dumb.4. In about 15days after the marriage I took her along with me to my posted location.5. After reaching the place of my work I advised her that she removes all her gold and keep it safe (since the place was a bit insecure) but also told her that I would be still wearing my weddingring – she said that there is no way she would depart with her chain with the taali, her ring, anklets and the rings on her toe.6. She was a big spend thrift, was blowing up my Salary, even after repeatedly pointing out to her there was no change in her.7. Also most part of the household work was being done by the maid I had hired. Breakfasts every day used to be nothing other than bread & omelets, which was what the maid used to make even during my bachelor times. I never complained.8. She always wanted her way if not create a big scene.9. Right from day one she was kind of against the basic act of consummation, but then during the course of time she got pregnant. It was only after she became pregnant did she begin to take a step front. Note at no point did I force her for anything. Her first reaction after knowing that she was pregnant was " What will my Parents tell, let us get it aborted" – I with a great difficulty with the help of my friends wives and a Doctor convinced her not to. Probably she got convinced was because the Doctor said that she would need to be operated after trying to convince her for over 2hours.10. During the initial 4 months of the pregnancy she was along with me and was creating a big drama, was often being called on emergency by the neighbors to rush home because of her Dramas – this began to show up on my performance and career. I suppose she was desperately trying for a Miscarriage. There was this lady a colleague’s wife who used to take care of her and give her company, every time she used to come up with a drama she used to either call me directly or reach me through her husband – seeing no way out my wife cooks up a story that I am having an Affair with her.11. Was then advised by neighbors and friends that it was wise to leave her back in India and inform her parents of it. She was against the idea of her going to India, she wanted her Mother to be brought in to take care of her. Which I refused and brought her back to India, informed her parents of the problem she was creating, and returned to my job.12. Before leaving I had left with her about Rs.45,000/- incase of an emergency and for personal expenses. She kept complaining to my parents and her parents that I had not given her any money.13. During delivery the moment the pain arrived she went to the hospital and demanded for a Caesarian. Right from the day one my son was being fed Milk powders and kept telling me and my family doctor advised for it and because I was not near her she did not have milk. After a period when I returned and I have been taking my son for various medications both us have been instructed by various Doctors to breast feed my Son, my wife was even given medicines for thesame – which she never took. She simply did not want to feed him. Every time a doctor advised her to feed the kid, she used to make a lot of stories against the doctor.14. After I left her for delivery in India, due to the fact of her Spending habit I decided I needed to get a job with a bigger package so quit the job I was doing and went hunting for another job and got a pretty Senior Post in a Company as a CEO, but then at that period there was an Anti-Asian movement which made me feel that incase I do bring my family in there would be a hallow of danger to their security every time especially since I had a lot of traveling to do, so decided to quit and return back to India – which I did.15. After I returned back to India after about 2 months she joined me at a house where my parents, brother and I were living on rent. I had been hunting for a job and my wife had been insisting that I take a job out of the country but I was not able to find a suitable job outside the country so was unemployed for nearly 8months, but then I had saved enough so was kind of living on it. Then I began to work a decent job at Bangalore, which she was not happy with.16. Even though then I had no income there was no difference in her expenses. She then came up with an intention to do MBA, I had requested her to do it after our son is an year old – hoping to not spend that amount immediately and also hoping that I would get a decent job by then. But she was kind of stubborn and I did not want her to have the feeling that I am a hurdle so paid money for it, except for the 1st Exams (after 6 months) she never wrote any further.17. She also never used to take care of our son mostly he was being looked after by my Mother & Dad. She used to frequently come up with excuses of not feeling well, she had to study, etcs. Used to keep our son and our room shabby, if ever feed the baby and mess around never bothered to clean it, never took part in any of the household activities.18. After about less than a month she cooks up a story that I was having an affair (affair #2) with a neighboring girl that went on for over 4 bad months, and wrote a long letter to my father, told my Mom and her parents (copy of which I still to have) – my parents never believed it but still to satisfy her my father investigated and got her proofs disproving her allegation she did not even bother to apologize rather told "Forget it". Since she told her father one day her father calls up my Dad and threatened him that if he doesn't stop he will shoot the whole family – my father told him he doesn't have to bother to do such a thing because he has 2 sons who are on their own feet while my father-in-law has a younger daughter and a son who are still studying – this her father has taken as a big insult. When in Africa too she had alleged that I was having an affair with a colleague’s wife, infact I had got close to them (friendly terms only) since it was my wife who had a very close relationship with that lady, I took it as a misconception and also my friends assured her that they have over 200% confidence that I would not go astray.19. She then comes up with another idea of going for work and joined a software firm into their marketing dept. – from then on it was like because of the work there she was too tired to do any work at home.20. Seeing her attitude my father wrote a long letter basically advising like a father to a daughter of her duties and responsibilities. Which she till this day considers a big insult but then it was written with a pure intention to let her know what a normal person should be doing in a house.21. During the 11 months in India, the last 3 months I joined a company on a small job in Bangalore, but then meantime though a relative of mine I got a job in Kuwait, during the final stages they even before I joined told I would be deputed to Iraq. Upon discussing with my family they were totally against me going to Iraq, but my wife and especially her mother were the ones who were most interested in me going there – I thought if I work there even for 1 year I would make and save more money than I would if I worked anywhere else for 10years, so decided to take the risk.22. As the days for my departure was getting nearer I told my wife that I would want her to be staying with my parents during my absence – to which she said that exactly what she to had decided. But then after a couple of days her Mother called up and told me when I am flying (I was flying out of Chennai) I need to bring her and my son with all their baggage – I told them no, said that they would accompany me to Chennai but then would return back to B'lore. Her Mother comes up with a story that these days in the absence of husband the girl should be staying with her parents – to which I said I am a bit old fashioned in that matter. She then calls up myMother's sister and abuses about me and tells her she know how to get her daughter to be at Chennai.23. A Month after my departure, there was a call from her house on our land line (usually calls from her house to her used to come on her mobile – a mobile I had purchased for her) telling that her mother is seriously sick, based on this she mailed me of the situation – told her then that being the eldest in the family she needs to be next to her mother when she is sick and asked her to go. But later that same day my Aunt at Chennai upon checking her mother's situation realized that she was perfectly fine. Her brother came to Bangalore to pick her up and stayed there for 3 days visiting all corners of Bangalore when my parents asked him of his mother he said she was perfectly fine. She, then left Bangalore assuring to keep my parents updated of her Mother's situation and telling them that in maximum 10days she would be back. – (this I got to hear later from her uncle a story that no one was feeding her – which is absolutely a fake)24. After she left there was just one call that too to our relative's place. My parents had been trying to reach her but she would never answer the phone. After a month finally once they gother on line to be told her company had assigned her the job of opening a branch at Chennai, when my mother asked her could she not have informed my parents of it – her father took over and began explaining the responsibilities in a job and told if they were bluffing – to which my father who too was on the line lost his nerves and told him that he has proved it and banged the phone.25. The very next day morning, my mother feeling guilty called her mom up and firstly apologized for my father's reaction the previous evening and asked her what wrong had my parents done to her except of advising her like any parents would to their own daughter. She later tells me that my mother was cursing and insulting her and her mother told that after hearing what my mother told her she will not let her return back to our place.26. I thinking it to be a personal ego issue told her if she has a problem to live with my parents we could rent another place at the other end of Bangalore and she could move in there she refused ittelling that when I am not there and she doesn't know Bangalore well it would be better if its at Chennai until I return back – which when I agreed, she told me that her father will not allow it sothere is no way she could move.27. After about a month she suddenly came up telling that she is ready to move and she has seen a decent house and asked me to send her the money for deposit and the rent – which I sent. Later when I came for my first holidays I got to understand from her father that he and she had a fight and she walked out of the house after mid night and had been staying somewhere which he too did not know (this she never told me until I asked her) when I asked her she told methat she was put up at my Aunt's place upon checking with my Aunty she tells that she had visited her only once for a couple of hours and never spent even a night at her place, upon asking her again she comes up with a different story of spending the night in one of her brother’s friends place and then 3 days at a friends place.28. I was later also given to understand that she was asked to leave from her job because her father too was involving a lot in her company. What I got to hear was that it was due to misappropriation of funds and office amenities that she was fired.29. She then had been jobless for nearly 3-4months to then get 2 offers one with a Animation Education Center as a Counselor with a bond and another company (guess it was a bank) – I advised her then that the second option was a better choice and that I was against giving a bond (not that money was an issue) thinking of her career growth was why I advised it. But she goes against it and joins this company and tells me that they had waived of the bond; but now she tells there was a bond. – from what I hear from here too she was sacked.30. During my 1st holiday she saw I was carrying a mobile (latest then) after I left back for my job she empties her account and buys a mobile and then asks me to send money to her.31. After returning back after my first holidays she suddenly comes up with a story that the land lord is demanding for more money and there were water problems – and that due to this she had found another house and asked for extra money to cater to the shifting and additional amount for deposited. This too I sent to her.32. On job I normally carry 3 mobiles – one a local line, one a Kuwait line purely official line and third a satellite phone. Now this Kuwait number other than my colleagues it was only my fatherand my wife who had this number. One fine morning I get 3 calls asking me to return to Chennai and protect my Son since the caller (a guy) wants to kill my wife because she had promised a lot and she was having some affair with someone else. I thinking this was just a story, informed her and she blamed it on the house owner's son and assured me that the story is a fake and he had some psychological problems and so was the reason for her to change the house.33. She had also come up with a story of a guy a colleague of hers who was troubling her and she told me a story telling that he was married and his wife was at Delhi, etcs. But when I checked with him indirectly he came up with a story totally different. Not just that on one of my other holidays when I was with her he calls up on her mobile.34. Then once I also saw a pretty vague Saree which would not have been her choice nor anyone I knew off asked her when she picked it up – she told me it was gifted and that she forgot who gifted it to her. Six months before she did not have it and then if it was a gift during 6 months how would one forget it.? 35. During my first 6 months itself one of my Uncles who too was in Iraq was killed in a Mortar Attack – ever since then though I personally wanted to return and was also being forced by all myrelatives to return – she and her Mom wanted me to continue. Since she was not kind of prepared I continued there for the next 1 and a half year trying my best to convince her, and they knew that I was insured for over 2.5crores.36. Once during my visit getting a feeling that her father is into big time financial crunch, I offered to help by saying that by marrying his elder daughter I too am like his eldest son so incase of any help he could feel free to ask. Hardly did I close my mouth he demanded 5 Lacks and he was literally catching my collars for it – I paid.

37. Mean time I was also seeking advice on starting a business with my parents, her father and her – she suggested an idea of setting a beauty parlor at Chennai which I was not kind of interested and not just this during my that holiday her father too brought up this same plan where he, her Mom, Sister and brother could also work (basically was a plan jointly discussed by her family) and demanded 20lacks for the same- though I did not tell them anything I told her there is no way of doing anything at Chennai. That's the point when she began to be absolutely stubborn. Her father also wanted me to invest into some properties at Chennai which I bluntly refused. Her father had initially come up with a plan of getting me to buy a flat at Chennai, knowing her father very well and that he would take over – I refused telling I’ll buy a flat anywhere in the world but not Chennai.38. I then wanted to invest on to a flat at Bangalore, which initially she too had agreed upon but then later came up with a question of if it was for investment or for living – I told her it was for both. After this there was a big scene which she created also stopped calling me.39. If I ask her of anything including the basic thing like about her family she was acting totally ignorant.

40. She had got her Sister too in the same company she was working and when ever I ask about her sister she would tell that she doesn’t know. They both had been finally asked to quit due to misappropriation.
41. On June 12th I had a problem with my office and had to return (basically not planned) – reached Chennai was there for 5 days during which she was totally aloaf and hardly spoke anything everyday morning she used to go by about 9.30 with my son and return back only after it was dark telling me she was going to her office (later when I called her office was informed that she had left the company a month before I reached, but on pointing out she tells that he resigned and had given the notice period on 10th of May - her sister too had joined this company she too quit during the same period – I was told by the centerhead that they were removed, reason not told). 16th June happened to be our 1st Anniversary together and she seemed least bothered of it. So feeling totally ignored and unwanted and also having certain doubts returned back to Bangalore.42. After a couple of days after I returned and after booking the flat I called her to inform her of the same when she told me that she is not interested in a flat at b’lore and for my information she has quit the company and also going to leave the flat, and anything further I need to speak to her father.43. At this point I informed my family of all the issues to prepare them for any untoward.44. My father then tried reaching her he too was told to speak to her father.45. I had also got an investigation agency to check on her, initially they came up with a lot of negative reports but then changed the plate (get a feeling that they were coaxed by her father)46. On 14th of August my father, mother, an Aunt of mine and I went to their place to find out her problem – she simply tells that she will not return to Bangalore. Her father has then asked us for amonth's time to convince her, and we have returned. He never bothered to call back.47. She was also accusing my father that he wanted that we divorce and handover the child – and he considers her to be a Baby making machine.48. I, from end-May'04 to end-May'06 have transferred over Rs.15,00,000/- into her account (though she was working and this is excluding the 3 lacks I gave her father and the other cash in US$s and Indian Rs. that I have been giving her) but every month end she was always short of money and asked for it which I sent. This account of hers was opened after the marriage after creating a drama that she lost my bank’s card and then created this account as a joint account with her father – I got the 1st hint when she paid one of my credit card bills and the cheque bounced which my father had kept in his locker – for this she makes a visit and pulls off the cheque from the locker without my parents knowledge, my account manager recently again confirmed of it being a joint account. My job entitled me a 15days break every six months each of those trips I used to make used to spend over a Lack thinking that this was the only time she used to freely enjoy only to be told by her she has no savings left.49. My son, he till over 3years he still is not so used to eat solid food. Not just this in her house he is given liquor by her father and mother, made to watch a lot of movies (his favorites are the English Adult Horror Movies). During the initial days my dad has noticed her giving my son a sedative which on cross checking with the doctors who we used to take my son told that none of them had prescribed it and is used to put the baby to sleep and dangerous if used frequently.
50. As soon as I returned and smelt something fishy I froze the joint account along with the locker where I was the main account holder and she was a co. On 1st Aug’2006, she walks into the banks and tried to empty the locker, but on being informed of it being frozen she too left a note to not operate it without her presence. Been checking with the bank on the records of it being operated they have till date been giving excuses to not give the details. This locker holds her Marital Gold and the gifts in Gold that I’d received from my relatives during the marriage. All my sons’s gold (gifted) is with her.

51. In addition to the above mentioned amount there is a lot of others that I’ve given as Cash, Dollars and Gifts (one gift was a Diamond Set worth over Rs.1,00,000/-, a Diamond Earring & Pendant for last years Valentine’s Day worth Rs.30,000/- )

52. I also get a strong feeling that her parents have bluffed to her a lot since during my holidays on March’06 she asked my mother of what we had done with the Dowry (which we had never taken) and also during a discussion she told me that my father had forced her parents to give Gold (this infact was her Mom’s wish, most of it should be in the locker unless she has taken any)

53. There has also been case where her mother has told my Aunt that its dangerous for her to stay in my house till my younger brother is married (my brother used to look and treat her as his younger sister – a sister he wanted soo badly)

54. What I’ve realized is that she and her family has any relationship for purely vested financial interest. Like her parents were always abusing her father’s parents which I used to hear ever since our marriage about a year and a half ago when there was this partition thin taking place and the brothers of her father decided to give a larger share to the person taking care of the parents her father and mother got ready to take care of them, but then knowing their attitude the other brothers did not let this happen.

55. In her mothers house my wife would be the 3rd cousin sister deserting. The 1st one deserted, divorced after having cooked a lot of stories against her husband and inlaws and then after divorce was caught red-handed in a school where she was the vice-principle then another cousin sister of her who too deserted her husband joined Malayalam tele-serials and then later died of AIDS.

56. Her family has no family friends or personal friends all they do is sit between themselves and Drink Liquor, her Dad, Mom and brother drinks every single day, mother can happily empty 3/4th of a bottle all by herself. My wife and sister too drinks and have seen them go overboard vomiting, etcs – I’ve infact many a times cleaned my wife’s mess. Her Father and mother encourages drinking.

57. I was also given a story by the detective agency of her adulterous life for the sake of financial benefits for her father – but I do not trust it since it seemed quite spicy and couple of facts when I cross checked turned out to be a fake also due to the fact I do not believe it.
The above is my case, I get a feeling that she married me was to extract money and also possibly get her family members out of the country. Reasons for her not coming into Bangalore is not known. I have lost hopes of if she would return.

Story of 12th Sept’2006

My FIL called up my Aunt and said that he is coming to Bangalore along with my MIL's Brother to meet and discuss, sometime next week, also says that there is no way he will want my Dad during the Discussion. He also told my Aunt that there is no way that my Wife would join me at Bangalore, wants me to join at Chennai (basically to suck out whatever I have left) - I definitely will not go to Chennai. He also told my Aunt that my wife told him that if he forces her to return to me she will commit suicide.

As on 6th Oct’2006

I've also approached a Christian Family Counseling Center, fixed my session for tomorrow, they will then send their letter to her and her family asking them to come.

She SMSs me asking to call her and upon calling she tells she is coming to B’lore to speak to me and never turns up.
As on 18th Oct’2006

As on Monday ie. 16th October'06, I filed RCR. I was given only a draft, would this be enough or would a copy of what the court send, I too would get it? - To me it looks just a piece of paper.

Another development is that my ?FIL calls up my Aunt and has told that he knows the Commissioner of Police (Chennai) and has filed a case against me because he is scared I might do anything to his children, that I spoke to his BIL and threatened – Got this checked it has not happened. I have a voice record of a telecon with his this BIL, where I was totally cool, intend to use it as an evidence. My ?Wife too walked into my Aunt's house and created a big Drama, told a lot of stories mainly against my parents and thenfinally told that 100% she doesn't need me, etc..etc.

Couple of her other allegations were that me and my parents need only her gold, would not give her food, would make her do a lot of work, etc. Tells that she has to only take care of our son (whom she wanted aborted, miscarriged and never breast fed)

I had also hired a detective agency who went to her house and disclosed the fact of being sent from B’lore and also came up with a lot of cooked up stories. I basically hired them to find of if she is actually having an affair or not – she and her family now tells that it has been a big insult to them.

She and her family bluffs that she is working with Citibank’s PLDO to all my relatives, I have a telecom recorded where she claims that she is working for the Citibank’s Corporate Office’s Suvidha Dept. But my account Manager at Citibank and also an HR from Citibank tells that she is not an employee.

As on 24th Nov’2006

Pop-in-law calls my aunt's place the day before yesterday, cousin siz picks it up he tells he wants to speak to her Dad, she tells he is not there and that her mom is also out, Pop-in-Law then tells her that "WE" need to sort the issue so wanted to speak to uncle and that I said that I'll burn his family, etcs...he is ready to kick out his daughter, who would then take a house by herself and then it would be shamefull for whom? Ma' Siz retorted back thats none of our concern and regarding the burning stuff, from what she knows of me I'll never tell or do such a thing and 2ndly even if I did tell, it must have been due to sheer frustration. He tells her that I was the one who spoilt her daughter by giving her freedom and money. And that he would call later and cut the phone.

Yesterday he called again, spoke to my Uncle - he began with the same line that the issue needs to be sorted, when uncle told him that so far my family has been comming down and after all these months also they did not bother - FIL tells that its because we (ie me'n ma fly) knows that its our mistake. ONE THING IS TILL THEY ACCEPT THEIR MISTAKE I'll not encourage any talks. Then tells him too that I spoilt his daughter.Then tells that I threatened to bomb his family and I'd got the scooty's that I purchased for his daughter, rear wheel's axel's nut off (same plot had been telecast in one of the Malu serials a month ago) and that he has lodged a complaint - probably making some evidences. One thing I do not understand is that if he had some brains he would not have made the same story of the tele-serial, 2ndly he should know that knocking off the front wheel's axel would be even more dangerous ie. if really a harm needs to be done this is what anyone would do. He then tells that he and his daughter is coming to B'lore for that Family Counseling in about 10days time.

As on 16th Dec’2006

Today was the 1st Hearing day as I'd mentioned earlier of the RCR that I filed and also the 1st time I am stepping foot into a court - I was informed that the court Notice to my opponents was sent twice but not received by her because the address is wrong and has called me for the next hearing on the 9th Jan'07. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the address have her passport's copy, a couple of other documents proving her address.

As on 26th Dec’2006

About 3 days ago off the blue I get a call from my Pop-in-Law.Opening Line quotes as he states-"I've Lost!!" Tells he has tried his best to convince his daughter but she doesn't seem to get convinced at all, tells he tried explaining to her of her future, etc and that all the job's glamour's excuse she has been giving would be over in a couple of years and socially she would be looked down, etc - blames her attitude on her Mom who knows only Beauty-Parlours and Cooking and not bringing up kids and so is the cause of his kids getting spoilt and them being this way. Tells he somehow managed to speak to his daughter and got her to agree to come to the Family Welfare Center for Counseling during the 1st week of Jan and tells he wants to come to B'lore in the next couple of days before the Counseling of her daughter and wants to meet me right after Christmas and discuss and also meet the counselor and discuss so that he knowing his daughter can give her the right picture else the counselor might buy all her stories. And tells me to not take any hardened steps....till then. Tells I seem to be having a wrong impression of him and his wife that they are behind only money tells he would rather beg or even go to the extend of asking me money but not his daughter.I do not think if he will actually come, been hearing of this kinds of commitments right from August - think he is buying time. Wish I could have recorded it was actually driving so could not!! - My bad luck!!

As on 8th March’2007

On 9th January’07 nothing happened the hearing was postponed for the 3rd of February’07. On the 3rd she never turned but her lawyer did with a petition for counseling, we added a petition for custody of child, the date set was for the 28th of February – on this day too she never turned but her lawyer did giving an excuse of the child being sick and seeking either 9 or 12th as the next hearing the court has decided for the 29th of March’07.

On 2nd Feb’07 her maternal uncle called inviting me for her Grandmother’s 41st day celebrations of her death and said they would expect me, all I said was an oki, but never went (her death was never informed).

As on March 31st’2007

She finally appears for the court hearing and we were put on for the counseling – the counselors sit initially for about 20 minutes with her then call me in to start abusing me and my parents without even caring to hear my story. Tells I am not financially settled, my father is controlling me, I need to pick a house of her choice in Chennai, return to Iraq, and forget my parents open up to her, etc. And they have now fixed the next date for 5th of June. During this she many times openly said that she doesn’t trust or have faith in me, I am not financially stable and that she cannot leave her job (she got into the job only on August’06 ie after our stand off began) and so wants Divorce (mentioned it at least 5-6 times).Infact even before the counseling itself her lawyer approached me and told me that her condition is very clear that I need to go to Chennai or she wants a divorce.

The Reconciliation Team of Bangalore Family court is highly biased, I file a case – they do not listen to me, instead sit with my wife and hear her part of the story and then call me and abuse me and my family asking me to be her and her family’s slave, door mat, find a job (so that she can have a proof of my job take more money out of me), pick a flat of her choice (with my money), etc. I went to the Courts for Justice and this is the justice I get!!